FRIENDS: HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO

                One of the most important people in our lives are friends; they are the ones we go to when we need to talk, they are the ones that listen to our silence they are the ones we have the most memorable times of our lives with. Friends are essential elements of our being.

                Oftentimes, we are usually caught up in the middle of either fighting for our friendship with someone or letting go/ giving up on the relationship we have with a friend or friends. This usually comes as a result of several possible factors or causes. Among the factors that causes this confused state is misunderstanding between the friends, bad attitude of one or both of the friends, inability to settle disputes amicably between friends, lack of communication and most especially individual differences between the two people.

                Making a decision as to what to do whenever conflict arises between two friends is sometimes a complicated process. One is often caught up with both the memories of the good times shared together in the past and the present moment of anger, rage, annoyance, dislike or rancour. The heart at this point in time, messes with the head and possibly clouds one’s judgement. Emotions play a vital role in the decision of either holding on to a friend, friends or a friendship or letting go. The feelings that arises due to the past and present happenings and moments between the two parties play a major role in the decision-making process. This is because the brain might be telling something entirely different from how the heart is feeling and conditioning the mind-set of the person or persons involved in the misunderstanding.

                The question here is how do you know whether to fight or hold on to a friendship or just lay low and let go of whatever rapport you have/ had with a friend?

                First and foremost, one has to be sure of the worthiness of the whole friendship relationship he or she has with the person or persons. This is the most important stage of the decision-making process. At this stage, you’ll have to weigh the usefulness and importance of being friends with the person or people and deduce if the whole thing is really worth it. Secondly, one has to talk about the whole issue or problem to either the friend or people involved but this depends on if they are ready to listen or talk about it. This might not be possible at times and as such, one might have to talk about it to someone who is a neutral person (not loyal to either of the two parties). This is to get an objective and not subjective point of view from another person and this helps in seeing the whole issue in another light. Though the outcome of this might not be favourable in either case, it has proven to a very good step and as such, an important step to take before deciding to hold on to a friendship or let go of that friendship.

                Another thing to consider before making such a decision is the fact that whatever it is that is causing the rift between the two parties might have been an uncontrollable situation or an impulsive action and as such unintentional from the person. Certain things happen between friends at times that are way beyond the control of both parties but end up causing misunderstanding between the people involved. This is why one has to look at the cause of the rift properly before deciding to forgo the friendship or even fighting to keep the friendship.

                Lastly, the decision has to be made on time before the gap in communication and distance completely severe the friendship to the point where it no longer makes sense to compromise or make up. The duration of the rift usually has an effect on the friendship if eventually the two friends decide to end the rift. The decision of keeping or letting go of a friendship is a very delicate one that needs proper and prompt action. Friends can either be the best thing to happen to you and/or also be the worst thing to befall someone. Chasing a lost cause is detrimental and advisable just the same way giving up too early without enough effort is wrong and often discouraged.

                Knowing when and whether to hold on or let go of a friendship is quite a complicated task. Let’s be more realistic, matter-of-factly and sincere with each other. Let’s say No to toxic friendships! Kick against forceful friendship! Shun all forms of detrimental kinds of friendship!