QIDAKINGIN'S BLOG

ME AS A WRITER - a personal content II A writer, that is the person I have come to be, but did I begin as that? Humans they say become who they are as a result of past experiences and encounters. I used to be someone who had the problem of expression. Either in words (spoken or written) or actions, I didn’t know how to express my feelings, thoughts and ideas. This gave people a very wrong impression about me. Many people saw me as ‘cold and stone-hearted’ while some just perceived me to be naturally ‘inexpressive’. I couldn’t find the courage to speak out when I was supposed to and I suffered greatly for it. I thought I was cool like that and anyone who wanted to be with me either as a friend or otherwise would have to understand. Little did I know that that was the beginning of my problem. It got so bad that whenever people offended me, I would rather keep quiet and lament silently than talk (speak out). All of these changed when I gave my first trial at writing; a scandalous one if ...

MY CHILDHOOD - a personal content.  Upon coming in contact and taking a close look at one of my neighbour’s sons, I became nostalgic and reminisced about I used to be when I was 13 years younger. I was never the boy of many words. I would rather keep everything and anything inside and let the turmoil take place inside of me than letting it out. This was not because I was not allowed to be expressive, I just didn’t know how to express those emotions and thoughts. This boy around 16 years of age would 8 out of 10 times decide to just smile rather than actually pass a comment or speak up. On rare occasions he speaks up, he says so little that one has to be very good at deciphering cues to get full understanding of whatever he is saying. I was supposed to feel safe, happy and free due to my upbringing and this was supposed to help me become ‘expressive’. But I never really spoke too much while at home but I would always be on the list of noise makers in school. It was lik...

COMPLIMENTS AND CRITICISM Compliments and criticism are just like antonyms - two sides of a coin. While one usually makes people feel happy and relaxed, the other oftentimes than not affects the mood in an otherwise manner. Like the Yoruba saying ‘oro gidi a ma yo obi lapo’ which means that ‘good words bring out kolanut from the pocket’, compliments make people feel appreciated, loved, noticed and charged up to do more. It soothes the mind and eases the soul. Compliments make ladies blush and sometimes brings rare smiles to the faces of uptight men. Compliments are like pain killers to a throbbing ache in a part of one’s body. They make individuals want to continue doing whatever it is that they were complimented for and if possible, in a better way. While the majority of humans feel loved and appreciated upon being complimented, some people naturally do not like compliments. People who didn’t/don’t get much appraisals for good things they did/do find compliments a bit strange. These ...

WHAT MEN WANT  What do men want? What would a man possibly want? Attention? Understanding? Care? Material things? Other benefits that comes with being in a relationship? These questions aren’t asked often from men maybe because by default, a man is expected to be the one that ‘provides’ and gets things done.  A man is usually expected to be strong, capable, responsible, settle bills and payments. This is quite not out of place when we take a look at the domineering and patriarchal tendencies of a man’s being. Other than these ‘default expectations and characteristics’ expected of a man, men also do have wants, wishes, fantasies and/or longings.   What a man wants varies depending on what setting he finds himself. The focus of this write-up is on what men want in their relationships. Ladies by convention are believed to be the ones that have wishes, wants, fantasies and/or longings in a relationship.  Ladies are known or believed to be the ‘delicate’ and ‘fragile...