WHAT MEN WANT.

WHAT MEN WANT 

What do men want? What would a man possibly want? Attention? Understanding? Care? Material things? Other benefits that comes with being in a relationship? These questions aren’t asked often from men maybe because by default, a man is expected to be the one that ‘provides’ and gets things done.

 A man is usually expected to be strong, capable, responsible, settle bills and payments. This is quite not out of place when we take a look at the domineering and patriarchal tendencies of a man’s being. Other than these ‘default expectations and characteristics’ expected of a man, men also do have wants, wishes, fantasies and/or longings.  

What a man wants varies depending on what setting he finds himself. The focus of this write-up is on what men want in their relationships. Ladies by convention are believed to be the ones that have wishes, wants, fantasies and/or longings in a relationship. 

Ladies are known or believed to be the ‘delicate’ and ‘fragile’ ones in a relationship and as such, need all the care, attention, understanding and good tidings relationships have to offer. This is quite an erroneous point of view when we consider the men as equals, in this context, humans with emotions with their female counterparts.

Some men want to be pampered by their partners. They want to experience that feeling of being cared for and being taken care of in a relationship. They feel that they equally have a right to be pampered with gifts, nice words and surprise packages. Though this might not be as frequent as desired by ladies.

 Some men want to be listened to by their partners. It is quite tasking and at times choking to be the listener and not the speaker. Being a man; he has to listen to the grudges, worries, complains, fears and ‘lady talks’ of his partner. The man has to be the ‘rock’ in the relationship by offering emotional support to his partner every time she needs him to be for her emotionally. Surprisingly, some men want that in their relationships too. They want to be heard. 

Ladies sometimes wonder why their partners who are usually gentle and understanding snap or become aggressive towards them. Men bottle up so much inside because it is often viewed in our society that a man who let loose of his emotions is not a ‘real man’. Men want to listened to whenever they want to share their worries, fears, feelings or talk about their emotional and psychological state of mind to their partners.

 Some ladies do listen to their partners in times like this and offer emotional support. The big question is how many ladies offer emotional support to their partners? Having a partner who understands you and takes you for who you are is something that is very priceless when it comes to relationships. 

It is quite rare to find ladies who completely take the personae and personality of their partners without nagging and try to help them get better and become more refined beings. 

Arguably, some ladies do this only when their relationship is tilting towards serious courtship and there is possibility of marriage.

 Men are humans, humans are not perfect; men are not perfect. There is no one without flaws and as such we (partners) should learn to always try to help each other. Men want their partners to love them as they are and try to make them better and not complain about their being and personality at every chance possible. There is no bound to change and development in humans. 

Ladies must try to help their partners grow and become better individuals. Most men want this in their relationships.

Another thing that some men want in their partners and relationships is the romantic part of a relationship. It is pathetic to say that some ladies always want to be at the receiving end of lovely gestures, ‘sweet words’ and heart-melting gestures. Though it is expected for the man to engage in all of these from time-to-time to reiterate his affection for his partner but some men also want to be at the receiving end of these lovey-dovey aspects of a relationship.

 Everyone loves something good. Everybody likes to hear nice and heartfelt words from their partners. These romantic acts make relationships stronger. They sort of give a reminder of the kind of relationship being kept by a man and a lady. Men also want this lovey-dovey aspect of a relationship though a marginal proportion of men view it as ‘girly’, ‘soft’ and ‘unnecessary’.

The romantic aspect of every relationship should be shared by both partners- it is usually calming and soothing to hear the ‘I love you’, ‘I don’t want to lose you’, ‘I cherish you’ and the likes as long as these things are sais sincerely. Love is a noun, it is also a verb; it is a name and it should also be an act (performative).

Finally, men want to be regarded as ‘active members’ of a relationship. This means that some men like their partners to see them as partners and co-emotional support and not only as boyfriends, fiancées and husbands. Men want to be regarded as actual living and precious beings that needs to be loved, understood, supported and taken care of. 

It sure does the heart of a man good if his partner actually sees him as ‘other half’ and not a distinct other. Some ladies see their partners as individuals and refer to them like that and not as part of themselves that needs equal attention.

What do men want? This might sound a bit funny but as long as women have wants, surely, men do have wants too. Now every lady should ask herself what her man wants. I am Quadri AbdulQudus Bolaji, these are some of the few things I think men want. What else do you think a man wants? Thank You!